I’m 2 days late, so we have to pretend it’s still October 1st, and I’m celebrating 1 month of renewed blogging. Yaaaaaay! 1 month, 11 blogs, 137 visitors, 468 views, and 20 whole followers! I know most of you reading this are dear friends and family, but some of you are complete strangers from various corners of the globe. I find this quite incredible and very humbling that we can connect like this. Thank you all so much for your love, feedback and support, I honestly can’t tell you what it means to me.
One month ago I was in a real funk. I felt anxious about work, trapped in a role I wasn’t enjoying. I spent my days off trying to stop myself counting down with increasing dread to my first day back at work. It was getting harder to ‘be in the moment’ and I felt frustrated that I couldn’t just put on my big girl pants, give myself a break and get on with it. Some soul searching and a push from dad led me to start writing again, and I’m already feeling the change, both physically and emotionally.
Physically, I look different. Ok so I probably don’t objectively look any different, but my mind’s eye sees me differently. I feel happier, so I am kinder to myself, and I see myself in a more positive light. Colleagues have commented on my appearance, which is a first in almost 2 years. They are commenting on my hair, my skin, and my eyes. Probably because my hairdresser attacked my roots before our little romantic escape to Hervey Bay and the burn I was so ashamed of is now a delightful tan. I’ve also been moisturising… so that’s probably what they’re noticing. One midwife declared she wanted some of what I was having.
‘I’m indulging my creative side!’ I thought but didn’t say. I feel like my soul is smiling again. You’ll think I’m mad, but recently I’ve been dismayed that my eyes seemed grey and dull. Now they look brighter, clearer, and green again. I am starting to feel like me again, and I like it. I feel lighter and more energised. I’m enjoying my days off, writing, reading, singing, running, and painting my furniture projects. Occasionally I even do the washing and make a family meal. Winning. On my days on I feel more optimistic and less anxious and unsure of myself.
Every day I make notes in my beautiful brand new notebook that comes with me everywhere. My mind is brimming with ideas, and I’m making sure I write them all down to revisit later when inspiration, motivation and time collide. I know that time will come, and I can hardly wait. I hope you’ll still be with me when I get there.