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I started this blog exactly 3 months ago today. I was in a bad place, spiralling into panic that something important in my life was going wrong, anxious to name it and make a change. After a heart to heart with my father he helped me acknowledge that I wasn’t following what I love. Sure, I enjoy my work as a midwife, when I’m not consumed with anxiety that sooner or later everyone will realise I have no idea what I’m doing (NB this is fear talking, not truth). I enjoy it but I can’t say I’m passionate about it.
This blog was about reconnecting to my creativity, my passion, starting with my numero uno: writing. I love every second spent writing, and flexing my long neglected writer’s muscle is doing me and my dreams a world of good. To all you readers who have been so supportive and positive, thank you so much. It means more than you know.
But I have another creative passion I can’t live without, and that is singing. In a parallel life I know I could have doubled down to make it my career, and train to become much much better than I am now. But I chose a different path and I’m happy with the direction I took, however grateful for the training I did have. I took classical voice lessons throughout adolescence with Neil Mason, spent four glorious years in the alto section under Graeme Morton with St Peter’s Chorale in the 90s, and spent several years taking lessons from Louise Dixon, who I have just reconnected with after a long hiatus. It feels magical to sing again with some intent. But there has never been any plan to perform, as much as part of me enjoys it, especially with my ridiculously talented bestie Dee who sings and plays piano and makes it all look so easy.
Last week I posted what I meant to be a funny clip of me being a technologically incompetent doofus on Facebook, depicting my headless torso singing at the piano. I was surprised and touched by the kind comments and voices asking me to share more. I struggled hard with this. For what reason would I do this, other than to receive praise? To share the gift of my home-grown music recorded on a pretty basic phone? Hardly. I’m pretty sure you can all access the originals for the gift of music.
No, safe to say I’m pretty uncomfortable sharing my no-frills renditions of whatever is feeling good on any given Tuesday, but that’s what I’m going to do, in the interests of honouring my creative passions, paying tribute to the gifts we are all given to enjoy for ourselves and sometimes even others, and, of course, to be brave in vulnerability.
I do hope you enjoy, and please, if you like the blog and feel others might enjoy connecting with it too, do feel free to share it, with my sincere and humble thanks. Happy Tunes Tuesday!