Well here we are, it’s another Tuesday and I haven’t blogged about something else since my last #tunestuesday offering, or the one before that (look at me go, experimenting with hashtags). On one hand I am disappointed I haven’t shared anything else with you but on the other hand I’m happy I’ve had Tunes Tuesday to stick to, hard as it can be at times. At the very least my mother looks forward to them so I’ll keep going with it for that reason alone ❤ #thanksmum…
There’s been a lot going on. My girls had their eagerly anticipated surgery to remove their tonsils and adenoids- same day, same time. I am glad to say they did not follow in my 5-year old self’s footsteps and rip out their drip, although Phemie’s cannula tissued upon return to the ward and Reina complained about hers the entire 24 hours we were in hospital. They did well. They’re already needing very little pain relief and are mercifully back at school. Reina, whose ‘kissing’ tonsils (touched in the middle) were enormous and always enflamed, has told us it’s easier to eat and is actually already eating better. Thank goodness. Hopefully their mouth breathing at night will stop soon too.
What else. I’m back in the birthing suite at work which always carries an extra level of underlying anxiety with it. Strangely though, I’ve had a few shifts I’ve actually walked away from… happy. I grabbed Chab’s arm the other day all of a sudden. “Chab!” I said, stopping myself mid sentence after talking about my night shift, “Did you hear what I just said? I just said I enjoyed it!” I hope this is the start of a new trend for me. I really do want to enjoy what I do. I don’t believe it is too much to ask of this life. Starting this blog has helped me acknowledge and embrace that. I started in September last year and life has just gotten better and better. I’ve started writing again, I’ve started singing again, I’ve lost 10 kilos, I’m working less, laughing more and haven’t had an anxiety attack in a very long time- at home or work. I’m also starting to see opportunities opening up to me as I become clearer on how I want my life to be going forward. I’m feeling very excited about the ideas swirling around in my head, but more on that in the next month or so, as they start to take shape.
Back to now though, this Tunes Tuesday tune is “Tell Him”, originally an energetic and catchy tune by the Exciters. I loved it from a very young age as it was part of The absolutely iconic Big Chill soundtrack I’d listen to on record before we got the CD. Dee and I do love to slow a song right down and lean into it, which is exactly what we’ve done here. The last time we ‘performed’ this for anyone was 2009. I was starting a new chapter of my life, about to fly overseas and put the hell of the past few years behind me. Check out https://soulsearchinginsuburbia.com/2021/01/22/a-picture-tells-a-thousand-lies/ if you want to know more. I struggled with this song, having gone through a truly disastrous, drawn out break up. Pfff I thought, as I sang “I know something about love…” What the hell do I know about love? All I know is it’s pretty fucked up. What right do I have to sing this song?
Yes, I was not in a good place. Happily, none of that applies anymore. I’m pleased to say that singing it now brings up none of that hurt and doubt from before, but rather, just warmth and gratitude. Today, life is just good.