I wanted it to be a little bit special when we told the girls about the pregnancy. This was not planned, I didn’t think they had seen it coming, and I felt it could go either way: be taken really well or really badly. I knew there would be anxiety about mummy’s attention being pulled from them to The Baby, especially for Reina, and I wanted them to focus on their very important new roles. Reina would be a big sister for the first time, and Phemie would be the eldest. So I ordered them some t-shirts saying just that. I put them away when they arrived at the front door and pondered when the “right time” would be.
Turns out the right time was the time we were happy for them to share the news with my parents (and of course anyone else who may cross their paths!). I didn’t want to burden them with keeping that kind of a secret. So at 9 weeks and 2 days, after a day out pretending to sip champagne, stay awake and not heave with family friends, we came home and gave them two little gifts, one package each. As they unwrapped the shirts, they processed the information at very different rates. Even as Phemie was jumping around declaring “I knew it! I KNEW it!!” and lamenting that she just wanted a puppy, Reina was still reading her t-shirt which read “Shh, I’ve got a secret” on the front, and “I’m going to be a big sister” on the back. Reina was all smiles and surprise as Phemie processed the shock in a more expressive manner. I reached out my arms for a hug but she was still far too wired. I wasn’t worried at all though, I knew she was about to show how delighted she was.
After two minutes of bouncing around had passed, I asked Chab to stop the recording, and I read them a poem. I’m no poet by any stretch of the wildest imagination, but for some reason it seemed right for this. I wanted to give them some background as to how this had come to be and why we hadn’t shared the information straight away. It was both a kind of apology for keeping it from them and a declaration of love and appreciation for the beautiful souls they are. They listened quietly, taking in my wobbly voice at times and tear filled eyes. Their eyes welled up too. Occasionally Reina asked for clarification on a word or saying and Phemie promptly explained and told her to listen. In those moments they calmed right down, and began to understand and marvel at this incredible news that would change their lives, all our lives, forever. It was beautiful to watch. They are so excited, so happy, so nurturing and I finally got my hugs. I just couldn’t ask for more.
For My Darling Daughters
So now you know
The Secret's out
Our family is starting
To grow.
You may have noticed
I haven't been myself
More tired, more hungry
You've worried about my health.
Believe me My Loves,
I am incredibly well
Pregnancy is a miracle
But these early weeks
Can feel like hell!
We didn't plan for this
To happen
It took us a while
To take in the shock:
We needed some time
To ponder, and take stock.
We thought that we were
Done and dusted
With babies, nappies
and spilt apple custard.
For a moment I feared
I could not do it
I worried about everything
Am I too old? Too tired?
Will I ever get through it?
I thought of you
My Darling Daughters
Would you be happy?
Would you be sad?
Perhaps you'd be worried
Anxious, even mad.
Eventually my Angels
I came to my senses
I remembered who you are
You are strong, you are kind
Our Brightest Shining Stars
I remembered that
With your support
I can do anything.
You give me hope
You give me strength
There's just no need for stressing!
This is an exciting time
My Beautiful Darling Daughters
A little soul has chosen
To join the Leslous crew.
Of course I'm not surprised
I'd pick you for sisters too!
I do believe we choose our family
Think of that what you will.
Phemie, you brought this family together,
Reine, you made us whole.
Now this jellybean grows at breakneck speed
Our hearts simply overflow.
Never have I felt more blessed
Than right now
This moment
Looking into your eyes.
I know you've got my back
We're in this all together
I know that we are all on track
Family comes first, for ever.
